Gloria DeGaetano - Looking for Meaning in All the Right Places

Looking for Meaning in All the Right Places (cont.)

The holiday season is a wonderful opportunity for parents to provide guidance about the meaningful. Consider the child waiting in line to sit on Santa's lap. Is she learning to be a nagging, willful, unappreciative little girl? Is she figuring out that what is important when you are an adult is to become a consumer because all she sees are uptight people shopping? Or is she learning to express her deepest desires to a symbol of benevolence knowing that she deserves to have her dreams fulfilled? Is she seeing people happy to find gifts for loved ones for a very special occasion? How parents talk about the visit to Santa and shopping trips with that little one will determine what meaning she gives them—for now and for long into the future.

In my book Parenting Well in a Media Age, (please highlight and link to www.parentingwellinamediaage.com) I point out:

"Today's industry-generated culture actually interferes with our being able to teach and pass on our deepest values because it promotes a superficial life, with addictions and despair likely outcomes for many. It cannot give us a life-promoting belief system to further the optimal development of future generations because it is not a culture of and for the real people, but a culture of and for objects. An industry-generated culture is, by its very nature, impersonal. It does not care. It does not know our kids and doesn't want to (In the sense of real knowledge apart from their consuming habits and vulnerability as consumers.) It can't teach our kids patience or morality or help them learn about themselves. Only we can do that. If the industry-generated mass culture replaces the basic function of culture in our lives, we are likely headed into increased family and societal dysfunction. We will lose control of what is known as the 'symbolic constructs and rituals' that previously gave our lives meaning." (2)

It saddens me to read about the two teenage boys who didn't mind missing Thanksgiving Dinner as they waited in line for 16 hours in order to be able to buy the latest video gaming system, the day after Thanksgiving. They had their Cup of Noodles instant soup while waiting in the freezing rain for an object they had to have, but not noticing what they lost in dismissing the ritual of Thanksgiving and what that holiday represents—or used to represent. Perhaps they didn't have a family to celebrate with? The article never said.

In an interview with Debby Weidner, PCI Certified Parent Coach® on Parent Appreciation Radio, (highlight and link to www.parentappreciationradio.com) she and I talked about some of the things parents can do during holiday seasons to infuse more meaning into it. Here are some of the ideas we discussed:

Honor the Darkness
As days get shorter until Dec. 21, the darkness can remind us slowly we are making our way back to the light. If we fully embrace the dark, we are more likely to appreciate when that light comes back. All the electric lights and candles at the holiday season represent this shift in the natural cycle—from darkness to light. However, being too hasty with brining in the light short changes autumn and the darkness it brings. As a way to fully respect the dark, we can postpone putting up our outdoor lights or refuse to light up Christmas tress until Dec. 21.

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